Missing him…

The past couple of days have been tough. I really don’t know why some days are better than others. Let’s just say they are. Reminiscing through pictures and his clothes. I guess I’m lonely. I have a roommate, so I’m not alone. But my heart is broken and I can’t seem to find anything that will fill it.

Went to the flea market today. For those of you who don’t know what that is it’s just a bunch of people that rent spaces to sell whatever it is they sell. I walked into a space where I was welcomed by this older man. He was smiling and called me a Pirate. I had on my East Carolina t-shirt. I looked around and found rounds to go in my burner. He told me to only use half, they kill the odor, not mask it. He went through this long story about if my husband smoked a cheap cigar and I cooked fish that night for supper you wouldn’t be able to smell it. Then he gave me some free crystals, that you put in a bag, they also kill odors. So I brought it all home and I’ve got the bag in my closet and the burner is simmering. He said it would smell for a little while and then I would just smell nothing. Watch and wait.

I spent yesterday eating fruit through lunch and then pasta for dinner. My new diet. Went to bed at 8 pm. I was beat. My roommate had a date. Looks like tonight will be just as exciting. My roommate has another date and I guess I’ll have a baked potato. Maybe, walk to the beach. That always helps. Watch some tv and take my meds and go to bed. I just remembered, the full moon is tonight. That’s a MUST. I’m a sun, moon and stars kind of girl.

When I write my blogs I lay on my bed and listen to the my coo coo clock. William gave it to me our first Christmas together. It had been in the garage. He knew I liked it, but it was broken. He tried to fix it, but couldn’t. He brought it in anyway. I hung it on the wall and went to put the top on and it fell on my head. We laughed so hard. It makes me smile now. I kept it safe until we could find someone to work on it.

After William died I made it my mission to have it fixed. It is a real German coo coo clock. It’s beautiful. It took a while to find someone, but I did. My dad took it for me. So, when it coo coo’s and the music plays I think of William bringing it in from the garage, the smile on his face and our first Christmas together…


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