The beginning…

I really don’t know where to start. Have you ever had that “love at first sight”? Well, that was William and I. We’d known each other since 5th grade. Both of us took different roads, but we managed to still see each other through the years. I had a Dalmatian, named Buddy. My dad knew William too, through the construction industry and he suggested I give Buddy to William. I was pregnant with my only child and I couldn’t get Buddy to stop jumping on me. He would get out of the fence and run and hide behind a tree. Yes, I looked funny trying to chase down this dog. Anyway, William gladly took Buddy to his farm.

The next time was our Class Reunion. I remember dancing with him. I was no longer married, but he was. There was a definite connection going on here. Years later, my dad told me William had divorced. I looked him up on Facebook. It said his relationship was complicated. I sent him a hello on messenger. We went back and forth. It took him forever to answer me one time. So I put my telephone number and told him to call me one year. The next thing I know, my phone rings one night. I answer and he starts talking to me like I know who it is. He thought his named showed on the caller ID. We talked on and off and one day I’m at a resturant and I think I’ll call and see if he’d like to meet. I told him my dad was there, which he wasn’t. He called me like 3 times before he got there and he asked me who was there. I had to come clean and I told him just me.

I was sitting at the bar talking to one of the bartenders. My back to the door, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and when our eyes met, it was magic. We talked and laughed. We would go outside to smoke and we were just drawn to each other. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever felt. From that day on we were together, forever.

We married several months later and started our life. He was my life. Everything he did I was in awe. He was smart, funny and a southern gentleman. We worked on starting a new business. Construction of course. We were getting jobs and things seem to be going well. But we couldn’t get people to back their own payroll and it was breaking us to pay week to week. I knew this really bothered him, but I didn’t know what to do.

He started looking for a regular job. I sent out so many resumes, but he was so over qualified. He started projects at home. He built me a beautiful cedar closet. We got my daughter’s room finished. He hand dug a garden. God I loved that man. He was all about family and I loved that he accepted me for all my good and bad traits. We had told each other EVERYTHING and afterwards still he loved me.

I remember the worst day of my life very vividly. We woke up and made love. I rolled over on top of him and asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He said bacon and eggs. I made coffee and got his cigarettes ready. Just like I did every morning. One of our servers was messed up, so I was focused on trying to get back up. He sent me a text. It had a picture of the two us from our last vacation and he said he loved me. I text back, I love you too! He came into the kitchen and I thought he was getting ready. I asked him if he was ready to eat and he told me no. He was just making sure I got the text. So, I thought he was going to get ready, just like every other day. When I heard this sound. I started hollering for him to ask him what it was. He didn’t answer. I ran from room to room.

We’d been sleeping in the other bedroom. I hadn’t gotten the curtains up in ours. I opened the door and I saw a shadow. I had to reach over the bed to turn the light on. When I did, our life was over. I tried to talk to him. I gave him mouth to mouth. There was so much blood. I don’t know how I dialed 911. I just knew they could save him. It seemed like forever. They pronounced him dead, in the driveway. They wouldn’t let me see him. I was so mad at them. I didn’t understand. I had to give them my clothes, do a gun residue test. I moved it when I did mouth to mouth. My whole world collapsed in less than an hour. My best friend was gone.

2 responses to “The beginning…”

    • Most devastating. Thanks to this site and being able to “talk” about it has helped me. I hope you’ll read more and any insight is greatly appreciated. Thank you.


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