Well, I did it. I made a life altering decision and I’m leaving NC and headed across the US to good old CA, driving out all the way. It’s been quite a let down in a lot of ways, not like you think: 1. Can’t put a tow hitch on my car 2. Can’t put a cargo bag on my car 3. That means I have to leave a lot of things behind.
The worst thing is my daughter Miss E. She has been so cruel, hateful, disrespectful, shall I go on? She said I was the most selfish person on this planet. I thought she meant because I was leaving, because she commented she thought I was running. I don’t know what she thinks I’m running from, I’ve stuck this whole mess out for 16 months, without any support, without anyone who fucking cared, what does matter if I’m 10 minutes down the road or 3,000 miles away? NONE I asked her to give me a reason to stay. She told me to go, she didn’t care one way or another if I stay or went, she still wasn’t going to talk to me. She told me if I showed up at her condo she would call the cops. UGH!
I have good vibes about my new roommate, the only way I could afford to live there. It’s a cute little house, three blocks from the ocean, two blocks from Main Street. It sounds like a place I could start writing again, maybe take a photography class. William wanted this for me, so I’m going to do my best to make him proud and also to give myself a much needed break. I want to find ME again, if that’s possible. I know I’ll never be the same person I was with him, but maybe I can get close. I am getting excited about leaving now. I leave on the 15th of March. The packing is my biggest worry. I can pack when it’s everything, but when it’s just hit and miss I’m having problems. This is My New Beginning…