Tomorrow will be 16 months since William shot himself. Tomorrow the server will go down for the business that he owned for over 30 years. These past few weeks have been very emotional for me. I’ve lost the first birthday present he ever bought me. I found the card and I can’t find the necklace. I never took it off, but I had to have a MRI and it’s gone. I cry everyday, a lot. I talk to him and I ask him what I should do about E. She still won’t answer my text or my calls. She wants nothing to do with me and I still don’t know why.
I’ve made a decision that is going to affect my life in so many ways. William said when I was ready he wanted me to have a new beginning, well I believe a new beginning is what I need. I’ve done all I can do here. There is nothing left for me to give. So, I’ve decided to move from NC and drive all the way across the country to CA. It’ll be an adventure. He told me to look for Rios and to become creative again. I used to play the piano.
I’m selling the rest of our furniture, except the two Costa Rican rocking chairs and what I call The Wooden Chair. Everything else goes. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I believe William would want it this way. I don’t want to do it, but I don’t need furniture for memories, I have all I need in my heart.
FOREVER & ALWAYS