I got part of my freedom back. I picked up my new car. Well, it’s new to me. It’s a 2008 Pontiac G6 GT Hardtop convertible. It just fit into my budget and it brought back memories of my daughter. So, I told him to see if I can qualify and I did. The reason it reminds me of my daughter is that there is a song she and I used to sing in the car. It came on the radio one day and I was singing, I said “like a cheese stick”. She busted out laughing and said “mom, it’s like a G6”. So, when the guy said I’ve got this blah, blah, blah, G6. I almost ran off the road, I was test driving another car.
I’m taking my G6 and going home for Christmas. I wasn’t going, but my dad called and wanted to know if I was or did he need my address to mail the presents. He’s the only one who knows I am coming home. I was supposed to leave Sunday, but he called and said he was going hunting. He hasn’t been hunting in years, so I’m driving in Christmas Eve and I’m leaving Christmas Day. Less time for us all to have to be awkward.
My daughter text me. I should be happy and I am to a certain extent, but she told me she absolutely did not believe me about being raped and I’ve given her no reason to respect me, but she loves me. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t think that you can love someone that you don’t respect or you think is a liar, I don’t care if I am her mother. She still thinks the child support money is all hers, not mine. I even sent her a letter from the court showing her differently.
I haven’t bought any gifts for my family and I’m not going to do it. I don’t know them anymore. I did buy my nephew a pair a jogging pants, he hasn’t done anything. I don’t know, maybe I’m being childish, I really don’t have the money. I did buy cards and I was going to write something nice in them. I’m scared shitless. I guess we’ll see. At least I’ll see William’s grave and the flowers I just had put on there. I do find peace there. I wish he was here. Merry Christmas Baba!