Beckon Call Girl…

Helping my friend out driving makes me feel like a “beckon call girl”. It means come here/do what when I say, basically. But he needs help and that’s what friends do. I would hope he’d do the same for me, maybe he would, maybe he wouldn’t. I don’t know. To be a true friend you shouldn’t expect anything in return anyway and I don’t, but I wonder if I did need him would he be there…

I got an email from the guy in the UK. Can’t believe he’s still in contact with me. Not at all sure where this is going. I guess he’s just being nice. It’s not like he’ll ever ask me out on a date. I mean he lives over 3,000 miles away. The sad thing is I miss him. I really don’t why. I mean I don’t think about him every moment of the day, but I do miss him.

I’m still feeling sick. You all have been great. Let me just say, NO, I’M NOT PREGNANT! LOL. OK, now I’m really not sure it’s the meds either, somedays I’m sick somedays I’m not. I think it’s ME. But whatever, I’m just really tired and maybe that’s got something to do with it too. I just need some rest. I’m tired now, it’s 3:07 am and I’m up. Where is William? He would make sure I went back to sleep and didn’t stay up.I might as well make some coffee and get the trash ready for pick up.

Did my beckon call girl thing yesterday and came home and took a 4 hour nap. I’ve been so tired. But I’m up this morning, going to do it all over again. Feeling a little better. Thinking it’s going to be in the 80’s today and I’ll just hang out at the beach.

My roommate and her boyfriend broke up again. I feel bad for her, but it’s crazy too. It’s also NONE of my business. If she wants to talk I’ll listen though. All of it just makes me want William here. She says she needs ME time and HE wants her to with HIM all the time. William and I were always with each other. We found comfort, peace, and love in each other. We didn’t feel smothered.

I guess everyone is different. It’s just weird to me. I want all the things that she doesn’t back so bad. I’m not saying that it’s right for her. Opportunities are never the same. Things will never be the same again.

When things like this happen, it makes me miss William more. I miss you Baba. Our wedding anniversary is coming soon, I love you! Cica