He Left

The man I met from the UK is gone. I know I’ll never see him again, don’t really know if I would want to. I sorta felt uneasy the last time I saw him. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s the guilt I’m feeling.
That night we had even eaten in the same restaurant and never knew it, until later. I only saw him about 30 minutes and he had to meet up with his friends. I felt abandoned. Stupid right? I cried.
I wish I didn’t have to go through all of this shit. I wish William was alive!!! Our wedding anniversary is coming up soon and we would be planning a trip or something.
My only blessing is my daughter. We were on the phone for 2 hours. She doesn’t know about any of this, but she keeps my mind busy. She talks about everything. Thank God for her. If it wasn’t for her I would not be here.
I don’t tell you this for sympathy. It is just a fact that I’ve come to live with. I do want to be at the college graduation, the wedding, and the grandkids. Not that I will be, but that’s my goal.
I’m done for while, with any kind of contact with men. It’s causing me too much mental stress. I just can’t deal with it. I’m not sure if or when I’ll be ready to handle it.

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Categories Bipolar, Depression, PTSD, Suicide, UncategorizedTags , ,

3 thoughts on “He Left

  1. It’s NOT stupid. It’s normal! And I know you’re not writing for sympathy, however you are helping other people who are going through the same thing getting to read someone having an outlet so honest and raw as you.

    Like

    1. I never thought of it as helping anyone. Thank you for your feedback it really helps.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh btw I did check out the website and contact them but haven’t heard back yet. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

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