This past year I’ve learned a lot about people. Especially the ones that were there in the beginning. They seemed very concerned about me then, but now I don’t hear from any of them, except for an occasional post on Facebook. Maybe they don’t know what to say, so they don’t say anything at all?

My own family does the same thing. When I went home last weekend they didn’t even try to see me. My mom thinks it’s up to me I guess. I told her I didn’t think I’d make it for Christmas. Why go? I feel invisible when I’m there anyway. My sister and her family “rule” the roost so to speak. Yeah, my sister, nephew and brother-in-law came to the beach yesterday. I found out through Facebook. That’s LOVE.

I think I have a few issues. I just want it all to go away! I wish I didn’t feel this way. I want to be someone my daughter looks up to and all I am is nothing. I put my faith in people and trust them and I shouldn’t. I’m going to stop doing that. All I do is set myself up for more heartache and I have very little heart left. What I have left I will save for my daughter and no one else.

I am so tired of being lied about. Everybody keeps saying it doesn’t matter, people who are close to you know the truth. Well, it FUCKING matters to me! Why can some people just get away with things like that? I know, consider the source, be the better person. What does it matter anyway? It’s not like anybody cares but me now.


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