I think too much

Today I found a CD with music from our wedding. It’s all I have left after my visit to the dump. I played each song and remembered that day. How we both were so nervous, but excited to finally be one. We had a beautiful wedding, he had never had that before. I did everything I could to make it special, just for him.

The night before, my best friend came and spent the night in the little cabin we were to stay in on our wedding night. We drank wine and talked late into the night. She and her husband helped decorate the house. We were on a Paso Fino horse farm. It was gorgeous. The fresh roses that were hand picked from the rose garden in the yard. The whole house smelled of roses. 

We both wrote our own vows. We could barely speak. I cried. He could barely hold it back. The way he looked at me was unforgettable. When he kissed me I thought I died and gone to heaven. We had our luncheon with only close friends. It was a day that I’ll never forget. It was magical. 

After everyone left we of course went to the little cabin. We had a lot of FUN before dinner. Then we dressed again in our wedding attire and headed off to this wonderful Italian restaurant. As we were waiting to go in a couple came up and said nice costumes. We were a little confused, but then we realized it was the weekend to celebrate Halloween. We just laughed and walked in. William told them who sent us and they were congratulating us on our marriage and asked us to sit at the bar. They served us champagne and as William went to pick up the glass, it shattered into a million pieces. His chi was very strong that day. I don’t even remember what I ate. All I remember is his face.

All of these memories from a CD I found. I cherish the moments of that day. I cry now just thinking about them. How lucky I am to have been so loved. I love him for loving me. Taking care of me and wanting the best for me and my daughter. I love him now, more than ever. 

I wish I knew why he left me. Why he didn’t tell me something was wrong. I would have done anything to have kept him here. But he’s gone…

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